The Values of Our Community
Giving value means helping each other out in whatever way we can. It means contributing, pitching in, lending a hand. It often means choosing to help someone else over being selfish. Sometimes it means making a sacrifice for yourself or for others. It means supporting each other as brothers, as friends and as wings.
Giving value means talking to the cranky girl all night while your buddy is hitting it off with her friend. It means giving someone a ride to one of the meetings. It means befriending a new member and making him feel welcome. It means mentoring a rookie at one of our outings.
The concept of giving is by far the most important of our values. The more you give the more you will receive. It implies such concepts as generosity, selflessness, caring and love. Learning to give is the predecessor of abundance.
Generosity is not giving me that which I need more than you do, but it is giving me that which you need more than I do.
– Khalil Gibran
Giving gratitude means sincerely thanking a person who helped you. It means accepting the value he gave you and acknowledging him for it. It often means going out of your way to make it be known or thanking him when don’t think you should. Sometimes it may mean letting go of your ego. It means expressing your appreciation for your peers effort and concern.
Giving gratitude means high-fiving your wing for talking to the cockblock. It means buying a guy a beer at an outing, thanking him in your posts or if you feel inspired enough, leaving him a reputation point and a positive comment.
The concept of gratitude is one of our most common values, meaning it happens all the time on a regular basis. The more gratitude you show, the more people will be wiling to help you. It implies worthiness, appreciation and recognition. Learning to thank others is the key to friendship.
A person however learned and qualified in his life’s work in whom gratitude is absent, is devoid of that beauty of character which makes personality fragrant.
– Hazrat Inayat Khan
Commitment has two meanings in the context of our community, each as important as the other. The first is committing to your self development. This means dedicating time to study & practice meeting women and to analyze your results. It means pushing through the tough spots no matter how hard you think they are and continuing to develop yourself regardless of the activities in your life.
The second meaning is committing to be active in the group. This means coming out to and participating in the group events. It means asking for help if you need it or helping out when you can. It also means giving a talk or asking questions of the speaker.
The concept of commitment is a tough one to master in either sense of the definition. The more commitment you show the better the results you achieve. It implies concepts like mastery, courage and resolution. Learning commitment is the key to lasting relationships with women.
Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality. It is the words that speak boldly of your intentions. And the actions which speak louder than the words. It is making the time when there is none. Coming through time after time after time, year after year after year. Commitment is the stuff character is made of; the power to change the face of things. It is the daily triumph of integrity over skepticism.
Responsibility means having a duty and having control over yourself and, at times, others. It means showing up when you say you will and being on time when you do. It means being honest when honesty is needed and taking care of your business in a prompt and efficient manner.
Responsibility means living up to the attendance requirement unprompted. It means coming prepared with a $5 bill at the ready and being on time to the symposium meetings. It means telling someone something they might not want to hear in a thread. It means accepting when you are at fault and changing your behavior to get the result you desire. It means being able to comfortably accommodate your peers.
The concept of responsibility is a hidden trait that one must work hard to discover in himself. The more responsible you are, the more you grow and the more you accomplish. It implies awareness, maturity, reliability, and dependability. Becoming responsible is the key to self mastery.
We have not passed that subtle line between childhood and adulthood until… we have stopped saying “It got lost,” and say “I lost it.”
– Sidney J. Harris
Honor means your moral obligation to be a member in good standing. It means living up to your word and your agreements. It means growing a good reputation by having superior ethics and serving your conscious purpose.
It means holding true to the terms of your membership and abiding by the rules of the group. It means having the courage to hold others to the terms and rules when you think something is out of line. It means discussing your accomplishments in a matter-of-fact and humble manner. Having a good reputation translates into guys saying you’re a good person and them wanting to hang out with you.
The concept of honor is another common, albeit “unconscious” value of the group. Most members have a sense of what is right and wrong for the group even though they may not directly attribute standing up for the right thing to be a reflection of their honor. The more you stand up for what’s right the stronger your sense of honor becomes. Honor implies ethics, morals, decency, character and modesty.
Confidence … thrives on honesty, on honor, on the sacredness of obligations, on faithful protection and on unselfish performance. Without them it cannot live.
– Franklin D. Roosevelt
Mentoring means giving to those who seek help and are in need. It means teaching a person with lesser ability a skill that you have had success with and leading a peer in the right direction. It means serving a purpose higher than your self.
Mentoring means befriending a rookie at one of our outings and pushing him out of his comfort zone. It means having a conversation with a guy after the symposium meetings and giving him an action plan to follow. It also means following someone’s progress thread and helping to steer them towards success.
Mentoring embraces giving value, commitment in both senses, responsibility and honor. Mentoring implies listening, sacrifice and volunteering. The more you mentor the bigger of an impact you make on the group. Mentoring is paramount to ingraining your skills on a deeper level.
We’re here for a reason. I believe a bit of the reason is to throw little torches out to lead people through the dark.
– Whoopi Goldberg
– How many of these values do you embrace?
– Do you embrace them partially or completely?
– Which ones do you need to work on?